All again for you,

Havent been free to update. Lets start with the day i stopped, saturday. Kay, tution and stuff. Before going in the morning fought with mum, and than the rest of the family. So fought with the family and scream and shout here there. Injured after that, limp to tuition due to the fight with family. Than before reaching door wipe tears and stuff, than slap myself and changed expresions and everything. Unlike you i dont affect other people due to my own stuff. Than sleep and stuff. My chinese compo improved (: Than after that go around 201 slack with Jubily, and this and that. Than back home, fight again. Than each its own way. Than back to Maths tutiton, blah. Ryan didnt come for a reason i do not know. Than this that, blah. My maths teacher's really cute, she's a girl you dumbo. ((: Than this that. Back home again fight, haiz. Than this that, couldnt go for V's and Nicholas's b'day. I wouldnt go if i could, I wont wanna see V with a limp. Handi-cap -.- Kay, i think dad's cursing and swearing cuz im like listing to music and its like, screamo. And im deaf and turned the volume real high. Kay back to others. Than this that, dad locked inside his room. Mum went into the hall and i went into my room. I feel family-less. I dont care if im living a not that comfortable life, i want that love from my parents. Hazel thinks im different due to that. Okay, lols. Well, dinner went 201 get food for myself. Than back home, this that blah. Than sleep, wanted ton with friends, mum pick up phone and heard. Cb. Than Sunday family dinner right? Yea, than went to holiday inn. Blahs, went there real underdressed. But mum wore something like pajamas, weird. Dad was wearing a real old shirt and jeans and was the best dressed among all three of us. My god. Than this that, ate alot i guess, than older cousin said wanna pierce ear, than told him about my tragus and earbone and stuff. Than say this that, than duwnan. LOL. Than back home by twelve. Monday woke up early and stuff, went to sch with Atika. Chiong hw at mac, almost late. Went to hall and stuff, cher caught Fazlyn's socks and behind them i was like pulling it like shit, alomst ripped my hand off trying to get my bangles off and pulling back all my hair. And they were just laughing like crap. Okay, funny if you were there. Than back to class and this. Blahs. Than chinese class keep talking to Benneo, Eugene and kept trowing letters to Teckyong, haha. So eager to get him to pierce. He today saw earbone say nice la, go pierce leh brother. Than this that. Punsish throughout chinese. Than after sch slack around sch with all and stuff. Than tmart and back to sch. Than went to repierce earbone. Okay why repierce, another story. Lets start. Why my earbone closed story. Kay, everything was fine at that time, till went out with mum and dad to tmall, was trying to cover ear with a hat and stuff. They keep on wanna see and stuff, than mum go tell dad see, he see the other ear, dumb ;o Than i quickly rush to toilet, keep on wanna pull out, put plastic, mum came in and quickly rushed to a cubicle, than while trying to pull, she was waiting IN the toilet still, than pullpullpull, than finally yes! Spoke too soon anw, tried to find the back of the earstud, cant find, it dropped into the EHFFING TOILET BOWL. Cb, thunk for ahwhile, ah go take la. When almost getting it, the EHFFING TOILET BOWL FLUSHED. shit, my hand was with all those toilet water and stuff. And there went the back of my earstud. Than clean my hand and stuff, by the time wanna put the earstud back into the hole, CLOSED. Wasnt that fucked up. All happened within 15minutes, in a toilet, in a small cubicle. The drama in my life, so sad. Kay done. Back to life journal. Kay, went back to the place i pierce all my third and after piercings to repierce, the girl said if repierce would be like more pain, and would look nicer if down abit, yea. So went with that. On the bus saw Zhaomin and Clarrisa ((: Than back home, before door pulled out like, all my hair to cover my earbone. But dad didnt even look at me, busy mong-ing maple -'- yea okay, than back home, tired, sick, restless, fight. Cousins hse, msn with Wiseley & Jermaine & Huimin. Back home around 11. Sleep. And now today, lol. Went to sch with Atika, chiong hw at mac. Late for class, blahs. Everyone saw my earbone except teacher, dumb. Now Fazlyn & Pingswen also want pierce ((: Than got caught for hair, bangles, fingernails, everything. But ear pierces and socks. They're like, the most obvious ones. Haiz. Teacher took away my bangles nad refuse to give them back to me. Nabeh. This that, blahs. Chinese class went to canteen study, than cher bought pizza and coke or whatever. Than slack around with pingswen, aqil they all. Than went tmart, Jermaine call, ask about today shopping with her, went back to sch and minimart. She call me paikia/ahlian. She has SIX piercings people. :BB Than talk and stuff, than back home to get change and stuff. Back home fought with dad, cried for something. Than msn while fighting and crying. Lol. Than couldnt go shopping with Jermaine ): Sorry Prettygirl, iloveyou. Well, than went to bathe and stuff, came out msn again, fought again. Shitty ass. Than now msn w/ HazelB.Sis, ((: Say dont cry, later not pretty. Her eyesight has prob, agree agree? :DD Than now like this. Well, nothing much really. Im just real sad, angry, fustrated. I needa vent, i really need to. Im not really sure how long i can hold on, everybody says im really strong, but you know guys, in every single person's life, there will alway be times where they cant never hold on any longer, and come crashing down, falling. I really dont know how longer i can go on. And when can i go on with life without the mask, outer expersion. When can i live life the way i really am. I really dont know when.

Ciao people,
Loves Jannell.

Just so you know, when i cry, i dont cry over things the way you do, i swear, im definetly different.
A thousand words, i just cant say them all.