Lachrymosity.
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Speak a thousand words.
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Lovers and liars.
Thankyou, vehemency.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009, 2:25 AM
Doesnt it just brings out my eyebags? ;o Some stupid retarded out-dated photo.HI Lovers/Liars/Bitches/Bastards. I dont really care.
Havent been free to update. Lets start with the day i stopped, saturday. Kay, tution and stuff. Before going in the morning fought with mum, and than the rest of the family. So fought with the family and scream and shout here there. Injured after that, limp to tuition due to the fight with family. Than before reaching door wipe tears and stuff, than slap myself and changed expresions and everything. Unlike you i dont affect other people due to my own stuff. Than sleep and stuff. My chinese compo improved (: Than after that go around 201 slack with Jubily, and this and that. Than back home, fight again. Than each its own way. Than back to Maths tutiton, blah. Ryan didnt come for a reason i do not know. Than this that, blah. My maths teacher's really cute, she's a girl you dumbo. ((: Than this that. Back home again fight, haiz. Than this that, couldnt go for V's and Nicholas's b'day. I wouldnt go if i could, I wont wanna see V with a limp. Handi-cap -.- Kay, i think dad's cursing and swearing cuz im like listing to music and its like, screamo. And im deaf and turned the volume real high. Kay back to others. Than this that, dad locked inside his room. Mum went into the hall and i went into my room. I feel family-less. I dont care if im living a not that comfortable life, i want that love from my parents. Hazel thinks im different due to that. Okay, lols. Well, dinner went 201 get food for myself. Than back home, this that blah. Than sleep, wanted ton with friends, mum pick up phone and heard. Cb. Than Sunday family dinner right? Yea, than went to holiday inn. Blahs, went there real underdressed. But mum wore something like pajamas, weird. Dad was wearing a real old shirt and jeans and was the best dressed among all three of us. My god. Than this that, ate alot i guess, than older cousin said wanna pierce ear, than told him about my tragus and earbone and stuff. Than say this that, than duwnan. LOL. Than back home by twelve. Monday woke up early and stuff, went to sch with Atika. Chiong hw at mac, almost late. Went to hall and stuff, cher caught Fazlyn's socks and behind them i was like pulling it like shit, alomst ripped my hand off trying to get my bangles off and pulling back all my hair. And they were just laughing like crap. Okay, funny if you were there. Than back to class and this. Blahs. Than chinese class keep talking to Benneo, Eugene and kept trowing letters to Teckyong, haha. So eager to get him to pierce. He today saw earbone say nice la, go pierce leh brother. Than this that. Punsish throughout chinese. Than after sch slack around sch with all and stuff. Than tmart and back to sch. Than went to repierce earbone. Okay why repierce, another story. Lets start. Why my earbone closed story. Kay, everything was fine at that time, till went out with mum and dad to tmall, was trying to cover ear with a hat and stuff. They keep on wanna see and stuff, than mum go tell dad see, he see the other ear, dumb ;o Than i quickly rush to toilet, keep on wanna pull out, put plastic, mum came in and quickly rushed to a cubicle, than while trying to pull, she was waiting IN the toilet still, than pullpullpull, than finally yes! Spoke too soon anw, tried to find the back of the earstud, cant find, it dropped into the EHFFING TOILET BOWL. Cb, thunk for ahwhile, ah go take la. When almost getting it, the EHFFING TOILET BOWL FLUSHED. shit, my hand was with all those toilet water and stuff. And there went the back of my earstud. Than clean my hand and stuff, by the time wanna put the earstud back into the hole, CLOSED. Wasnt that fucked up. All happened within 15minutes, in a toilet, in a small cubicle. The drama in my life, so sad. Kay done. Back to life journal. Kay, went back to the place i pierce all my third and after piercings to repierce, the girl said if repierce would be like more pain, and would look nicer if down abit, yea. So went with that. On the bus saw Zhaomin and Clarrisa ((: Than back home, before door pulled out like, all my hair to cover my earbone. But dad didnt even look at me, busy mong-ing maple -'- yea okay, than back home, tired, sick, restless, fight. Cousins hse, msn with Wiseley & Jermaine & Huimin. Back home around 11. Sleep. And now today, lol. Went to sch with Atika, chiong hw at mac. Late for class, blahs. Everyone saw my earbone except teacher, dumb. Now Fazlyn & Pingswen also want pierce ((: Than got caught for hair, bangles, fingernails, everything. But ear pierces and socks. They're like, the most obvious ones. Haiz. Teacher took away my bangles nad refuse to give them back to me. Nabeh. This that, blahs. Chinese class went to canteen study, than cher bought pizza and coke or whatever. Than slack around with pingswen, aqil they all. Than went tmart, Jermaine call, ask about today shopping with her, went back to sch and minimart. She call me paikia/ahlian. She has SIX piercings people. :BB Than talk and stuff, than back home to get change and stuff. Back home fought with dad, cried for something. Than msn while fighting and crying. Lol. Than couldnt go shopping with Jermaine ): Sorry Prettygirl, iloveyou. Well, than went to bathe and stuff, came out msn again, fought again. Shitty ass. Than now msn w/ HazelB.Sis, ((: Say dont cry, later not pretty. Her eyesight has prob, agree agree? :DD Than now like this. Well, nothing much really. Im just real sad, angry, fustrated. I needa vent, i really need to. Im not really sure how long i can hold on, everybody says im really strong, but you know guys, in every single person's life, there will alway be times where they cant never hold on any longer, and come crashing down, falling. I really dont know how longer i can go on. And when can i go on with life without the mask, outer expersion. When can i live life the way i really am. I really dont know when.
Ciao people,
Loves Jannell.
Just so you know, when i cry, i dont cry over things the way you do, i swear, im definetly different.
A thousand words, i just cant say them all.
Ciao people,
Loves Jannell.
Just so you know, when i cry, i dont cry over things the way you do, i swear, im definetly different.
A thousand words, i just cant say them all.
Thursday, March 12, 2009, 12:17 AM
Haven't seen her for ahwhile. Hi sweetheart, if youre out there ((:HI People,
Last two days have been fine, talked to cynthia, yea now she's sort of getting it ((: Yesterday slacked around with pingswen, aqil. Yea okay, than shaun pei me back home Than atika came over and blahs. For no damn bloody reason teacher keeps on spotcheck on me. Like for the past few days i've always kenna for hair & handbands. Oh she doesnt seem to care for the socks ^^ Urm okay, its offical that i aceddd my english and science and faileddd my maths and chinese X_X barely pass la. Today was normm. Was suppose to go pierce ear w/ Teckyong, but he dunwann. Later ahbengg :C He's already a ahbeng? Go sch and blahs, class was fine. Chinese just sucked shit. But played it throughout with benneo & eugene anw. ;o We were playing around with benneo's penknife than talked about slashing, than say i go slash. Than i keep on slidig the thing on my wrist nothing come out. Than all of a sudden blood just came out from all those cuts, omg. Yea, eugene got freaked out. Benneo was like super shock. Keep on sliding the penknife but ahwhile than bleed -.- than eugene so freaked out he go tell teacher say my hand bleed. Than that stupid chinese teacher say what use "jian dao" or what shit la. -'- than say what:" bu yong jing, wo hui tong zhi ni ba ba de." cb, i go stare at him, he stare back, than just walk away -.- than end sch hnag around with pingswen, zhongxuan, benneo, eugene, dexter & teckyong they all. Than 12+ leave bag there go tmart. Than go find cynthia. Than went her house slack, talk and stuff. Than this and that, and back to sch, saw joseph & teckyong. Blahs and took bag than back home. Come back father scoldd -.- Nvmm, than now online. March holidays are real random. A few days at ahma's hse to see my lil' dogg :D And shopping with her! And outings with her and andre ((: Let the presents and labels flowww ♥ And yea dye/highlights! And outings with hazelll & all. Piercing earbones tomorow or something? Probably going out tomoro after school. Nothing much alreadyy, oh yaa. Family wants me to get a girl clique, they say too much guy-friends. No girlfs. That's really crappy. So, girl clique anyone? Oh damn, i took like two days to finish this post -'- Okay now's fridayy, reflection day in sch. Finally, last day of school (for the term) frowns. Went to sch and blahs, recess stayed back in class to sleep. Than after that blahh. Than like after recess, and stuffs, teacher called me, pingswen & jacqueline out. Than ask us show hands, and it was obviously checking for slashes -.- Jacq dont have, than go back in class, than pingswen's was like super obvious, alot sial. Than saw mine too. Quet new, yesterday only. Than everything and blahh, than jacq, fazlyn, pingswen and me all kenna caught and stuff. Than qiqi also, and alot of other people. Than brought us to the councelor; okay im super sure my spelling is wrongg. and stuffs. Than go the room and things, than talk and blah. Managed to get my way out of it, they believe is table-cut ^^ Than this and that, than even after that, went tmart go buy penknife with gwendaline. Pink Penknife! Yea it rocks. Bringing it everywhere ;o Than gwendaline pei me go tmall pierce earbone. Than back to tmart slack around mac, than huimin & jiayun came and others. Than go out of mac slack by ownself, saw hilson talk to him ahwhile than back to mac again. Ahwhile than sian come back home. Than came back bathe and stuff, now blogging. So yea, msn with LAUKAILING - PRECIOUS. Yea slashing at the same time (: Yea i have my reasons. Its really pain now, but i love my penknife, so yea, nothing much, you can say that i don't give a shit about the outcome of me slashing again, and being caught later. Blahs. So yea, nothing much, i'd like to slash now. Bye all.
Loves, Jannell.
Slashings & Pink Penknife ((:
Tuesday, March 10, 2009, 3:32 AM
That's my ahma yo. Old photoo, buang me.HI PEOPLE,
Firstlyyyy, HAPPY 5th Month with LEEPINGSWEN MUTEPARTNER. And yea. Finally removed those cracked nail colour and painted new colour :D Electric Blue&Black ♥ Atika came over to study again. Today sch was normal. WEll my eng. common test rocked balls ;o Yeaa babyy. Maths got pass i guess. Today in bus talk w/ Vitoo, and his brudder. Than come sch and other blahs. Class was okay, slept through most of it anw. Cher angry with my hair. ;o Well im definetly ehffed upp. Super fustrated. Where are my venting peeps? All gone ): Dude got Nothing. Babe got Dude's Gay. Bloodsis always busy ): Recess went jsut slacked around and got into deep thoughts. Chinese class sucked as usual. Keep on talking w/ Benneo & Eugene. Social Studies was just sleep all the way. After sch slack around the whole sch w/ mutepartner, ariff, aqil & they all. After that bus back with ariff. Than Atika came to study. Than now she leftt. Alone while dad's cooking. Shopping w/ Ahma soon :DDDD My god i miss her like shit. I super love going out with her, she's just so damn cool. :D Bloodsis would be joining us when she comes shopping w/ me here in tmall or other(s). Hearing screamos. And damn god LEEPINGSWEN CAN SO DO SCREAMOSSS. If she knows what they are. When she screams is totally like screamos sial! So ehffing cool. Well, today was quiet okay overall. And yesterday when i was super ehffed up, i was at dude's friendster and saw this photo, it practically made me so hell of a high. They what im talkin' about :B Nothing much really. Oh yaa! Can save moneyy for hair highlightss, Ahma's gonna dyee for me ♥ She was a hairstylist before okay! Ciao yo, everyone. And someone stop me, stupid temptation to smoke -.-
Lot'ta Lovee, Jannell.
[edit]
I'd always just re-write this -.- Im not gonna do anything. To all friends, dont bother with them, im really not affected. Those who DO listen to them, they were never my REAL peeps by doing that. I'd say they're sortta blind. I mean, ya they really are. I wont say anything bad about them, if i would, id be just like them, stupid, blind, dumb bitches who hasent come to their senses. Hopefully they'd come to their senses one day to soon or not. But when they do, i dont think id look back. And yea, i mean, look at yourself. I have a thousand words to speak, but a post cant contain it all. I just hope that what i say to you, you wont take it like some shit as if im throwing it at you, but get it into youre head, and actually think over it. You girls are twelve, stop behaving like five year olds and still using the term "friend" you. I really wanna knock some senses into youre dumb heads. So that youd probably stop being a bitch and start being a mature person. If you guys are gonna continue being like this, you'd just be a no life, hated, immature btiches. I dont feel any hatred for you, neither any happines. On one hand you guys are really immarute, and what you are doing wont affect or change anything. Talking crap and shit will get you a billion bucks? If so than continue. Youre just affecting yourselves, thats all. Im not weak, you all surely know that, so by doing this is for?
[/edit]
Face down in the dirt.
Firstlyyyy, HAPPY 5th Month with LEEPINGSWEN MUTEPARTNER. And yea. Finally removed those cracked nail colour and painted new colour :D Electric Blue&Black ♥ Atika came over to study again. Today sch was normal. WEll my eng. common test rocked balls ;o Yeaa babyy. Maths got pass i guess. Today in bus talk w/ Vitoo, and his brudder. Than come sch and other blahs. Class was okay, slept through most of it anw. Cher angry with my hair. ;o Well im definetly ehffed upp. Super fustrated. Where are my venting peeps? All gone ): Dude got Nothing. Babe got Dude's Gay. Bloodsis always busy ): Recess went jsut slacked around and got into deep thoughts. Chinese class sucked as usual. Keep on talking w/ Benneo & Eugene. Social Studies was just sleep all the way. After sch slack around the whole sch w/ mutepartner, ariff, aqil & they all. After that bus back with ariff. Than Atika came to study. Than now she leftt. Alone while dad's cooking. Shopping w/ Ahma soon :DDDD My god i miss her like shit. I super love going out with her, she's just so damn cool. :D Bloodsis would be joining us when she comes shopping w/ me here in tmall or other(s). Hearing screamos. And damn god LEEPINGSWEN CAN SO DO SCREAMOSSS. If she knows what they are. When she screams is totally like screamos sial! So ehffing cool. Well, today was quiet okay overall. And yesterday when i was super ehffed up, i was at dude's friendster and saw this photo, it practically made me so hell of a high. They what im talkin' about :B Nothing much really. Oh yaa! Can save moneyy for hair highlightss, Ahma's gonna dyee for me ♥ She was a hairstylist before okay! Ciao yo, everyone. And someone stop me, stupid temptation to smoke -.-
Lot'ta Lovee, Jannell.
[edit]
I'd always just re-write this -.- Im not gonna do anything. To all friends, dont bother with them, im really not affected. Those who DO listen to them, they were never my REAL peeps by doing that. I'd say they're sortta blind. I mean, ya they really are. I wont say anything bad about them, if i would, id be just like them, stupid, blind, dumb bitches who hasent come to their senses. Hopefully they'd come to their senses one day to soon or not. But when they do, i dont think id look back. And yea, i mean, look at yourself. I have a thousand words to speak, but a post cant contain it all. I just hope that what i say to you, you wont take it like some shit as if im throwing it at you, but get it into youre head, and actually think over it. You girls are twelve, stop behaving like five year olds and still using the term "friend" you. I really wanna knock some senses into youre dumb heads. So that youd probably stop being a bitch and start being a mature person. If you guys are gonna continue being like this, you'd just be a no life, hated, immature btiches. I dont feel any hatred for you, neither any happines. On one hand you guys are really immarute, and what you are doing wont affect or change anything. Talking crap and shit will get you a billion bucks? If so than continue. Youre just affecting yourselves, thats all. Im not weak, you all surely know that, so by doing this is for?
[/edit]
Face down in the dirt.
Friday, March 6, 2009, 5:21 AM
Dearyyy, (: Love youuu.HI,
life's definetly crashedddd. Tonight definetly gonna vent. Huimin, Vanessa, Brandon, Hazel, Hani or Codie. anyone. The fact that life's getting harder, makes me stronger. Maybe its something like that, the harder youre life has been, the stronger you are. Atika came over to sudy just now. And talked to TeckYong on the balcony. Yea, he says he knows how i feel, im not that sure he does though. Suppose to have dinner w/ Dexter at 201. But he want KFC, lazyass. What kinda brother is this man. :O Went to see hairstylist :D She says i should get red, brown or golden highlights. My god golden's so common. I think gonna get red with brown or something. Yea, today recess sucked. Cant tahan those girls. Huimin knows who i guess. Losing friends, wait, if they were friends they wont do that. Losing some idiots in my idiotic life. I miss Jiaaawei, have no idea why, we talked yesterday, and changed sial. I really miss idiot. Common test was uh, okay. I think i can pass la, did a few questions before going to sleep. Than 20mins left after waking up to do the rest. Chinese class talk w/ benneo. And just went around slacking in class. After sch chiong 201, go see hairstylist ah. Than buy food back home, kenna by dad. Blahs. Than atika came and others. After that phone with TeckYong at balcony. Than others, than 201 taupao for me and daddy, daddy blanja me milktea. Blahs, than back and eat, eat abit than full, give daddyyyy. Than now comm. Msn w/ Vanessa, Atika, Wiseley. Yea, Vanessa says im emo. Ya, obvious. Life's unfair. Nothing much now, super troubled. And for once, i took brandon's advice and went to sleep after everything, even though i cryed myself to sleep. Yea, i always cry myself to sleep, hobby ehy. 2 days to complete this blog, stupid things -.- Msn w/ Jiawei & Vanessa. Well yesterday night conf w/ Brandon & Huimin. If youre still slow, im posting about saturday, now. Tuition as usual, other blahs. Than back home, and otherss. Than next tuition, the one w/ Ryannnnnn. After sch go one music store, go talk w/ the guy. Was damn into the talk, we were talking about guitars, local bands, rock bands and the fact that those screamos, they suck at guitars. The solos are like shit. He also told me that playing 12 string electric guitar's a bitch. HAHA. Truetrue. Than go mac and back. Now dad vacumming. Weirdd. Yesterday's conf w/ Brandon & Huimin was quiet fun. Imagine you and me. You know what im talking yo. :D Brandon so violent yesterday, fierce hor dude. ;o Shit, 4 days to complete this damn post. Well, sunday was just shit. Angry. Dinner went tmall w/ daddy. Actually go shopping lorh, he la, and his book fines. Than he got me Kuromi lanyardddd ♥ Kuromi's the shit :) But quiet dumb la, get me lanyard, nothing to hang. Phone also taken away. So i go hang my specs -.- Quiet cool sial. :D Today was funn. Recess went w/ Mutepartnerrrr. In class was like, sleeping. Today last CT. Easy ehy, our class's the highest marks for booklet A :) Did booklet A before going to sleep. Than waking up dong booklet B. I'd better ace this man. After sch didnt eat or anything, was just being bombarded by Perlynnn, Benneo, Dexter & ZhongXuan. My god la, 4 all come attack mee. Just went around running around the whole ground floor. Painn ): I want fight back the others come attack by the backk. Than kenna spray by waterrrr. Go class dripping ass wett. Than ohter blahs, talk to mutepartner the whole supp. After sch slack aroung w/ Pingswen & co. and her boyfeeeeee. Than come back w/ someoneee, girll ehy. Nuthing much alreadyyy. Gonna call Nurra later :) Hungry ):
Bye Yaw'll,
Peace Outs.
[edit]
I dont get it why people think im affected by what other people say. Im not weak man. And you're not too babe, be strong, think of you're dignity and pride. You're strong, i know it. And yea, I feel really sorry that you girls are like 12, and you're still so immature. I dont mind you going around saying bad things about me. Is it you're problem if im'ma bitch? Say me action? Say me act big? Say what, i treat people like dogs. Hahaaaaaa, you people(s) are the only one(s) who are actually saying that about me. I don't really feel hurt or anything. I asked all my friends whether am i like that to them, am i show off or whatever, no. Im not, i dont know who you think until so big. You know, whatever you do, won't change anything. And i don't really blame you, you guys never really knew me, understood me, or heard me. You don't see any of my close friends saying shit about me? You dont see Huimin or what Gwendaline talking crap about me behind my backs, you dont see Teckyong or Brandon talking shit about me. So why you people. What we had were the past, im not looking back. Im often misunderstood to most people, but you know, you can say i've changed, yea i know that. But if i go deep down, i'd always still be me. I swear, i may have changed this and that, but you know, my REAL friends know im still REAL. I feel really shitted out. I feel really misunderstood. I want my calls from bloodsis, she's the best. And guy(s) or i would say immature girls in my class. Try and talk to a REALclose friend of my, than talk can? Think before you do anything, or say anything. Or just go and get lessons from Brandon. Yea he's the most consistent person i've ever met. Yea go talk to him, maybe some sense will get knocked into you're headd. Last thing to say and im done,
Bye Cynthia, Bye Fazlyn, Bye all. Im never gonna look back, cuz im gonna be strong. Bye.
[/edit]
Misunderstood, but im still going strong.
Monday, March 2, 2009, 2:59 AM
Chio & Buang. Huimin, loves :OHIIIIIIIII,
Long time no post, blah. Urhh, last few days super restless. No sleep, all brandon's fault la. Have been conf(s) w/ V, Brandon, Huimin, Vince & Vanessa's Boyfriennddd. Vanessa, Huimin, Brandon, Vince, Pingswen and many more are asking: "Got stead? Why no stead? Why don't want stead?" Yea, making me feel inferior right guys, huh huh. All got stead, only i dont have. -'- I haven't found my loveeeee yet can. :P Msn with NGHUIMIN noww. Dang god she's cute. Today was urh, normall. Morning sucked. Early in the morning fight with father. Fuck it. First take away jermaine & wiseley, now brandon & huimin also want. Cb kia. -'- I will still with them la nabeh. Long story, come sch damn peckchek. Vent on Mutepartner. She say my father siao, where got such thing. Go back class kenna scolding ah, we kenna complain. Whole class diam. Than what ah, Ah, maths and others. Science and blahhs. Recess was damn sucky. Damn dulan w/ one girl. I think she know who she is. I dont mind losing you, as long as youre not a dog. Still dare stare at me, dare diao me. Can diao at pingswen summore. You sure anot, want come find daiji with me or her? Please la, what happen to you. You're like shit now man. More and more like that bitch in the class. Day by day i cant stand you. You were once a good friend, i dont want fight with you. But you really get to me. My bros dont like me with you either. Open youre eyes and see what've you've become. Dont try to stare or diao at anyone of us, cuz you know if any of us come find you, you'll be in deep, big, shit. Well, venting fustrations on huimin, yea, father these now ignore me. Cant believe it, this year damn sucks. Today's common test was harddd, cuz its chinese. That's my worse, ever subject. I say last year as "zuo nian", god damn. I wont be surprised if i flunk it. After sch stay back w/ dexter, shaun, benneo& pingswen. Before that was playing around with dexter& teckyong :) Than ran back home by me-selff. Reached home like, noww. And total stranger. Dad's ignoring me, not talking to me, im invinsible to him. My r/s with my mum or dad just sucks. Okay, Urhmm this is like, thursday, it took me 3 days to do this post. I better finish it by today -.- First time upload photo, than post half story, than now another halff. Well today, thursday, woke up at 8. Didnt wanna go sch. Nvm just go, reach sch took fathin's or issit fatin's book and chiong hw in toilet, again. The aunty there remembers me :) She's so cute. Than assembly and blah. Going to class kenna bombarded by edmund, dexter, shaoxiong, joseph till class. Class teckyong join ah. All kick each other. Stupid, 5 guys vs. 1 girl. Than puatoh, did the like those rock guitarist slide? Yea that. My knees were sliding on the floor god damn, if got guitar more cool. Than limp back to seat. Talkk with mutepartnerrr. Than cher came, other blahs. This and that then chinese. Wanted to pon, but nobody want pei. Sad. Than want run out of class also nobody want pei. Ah, next time i rather just pon myself and go find other people. Than chinese class wanted to sleep through, but benneo and teckyong keep talking to me. Ah, after sch went to tmart with ariff and haffiz. Than met zhongxuan, than aidil, azman, ukayle, nadia & sherrin. ;o Than Ariff dunno go where, haffiz too, than w/ nadia, sherrin and zhongxuan. Nadia and sherrin left. ZhongXuan too, go back sch, saw haffiz again, he finding ariff. Haha. Reach sch slack w/ deary, benneo, teckyong, dexter & shaun. Than go vb court. See ppl play ah. Kenna hit by ball like 5 times within less than half and hour. Always kenna lorh, im not a aiming board people. Than play vb with some people, than go back home ehy. Now here, step into house father come scold ah. -'- And im damn sick and tired of this haversack craze thing. I dont know why i even bought that bag, everone's carrying it, people i startng to copy and stuff. Man the inc./zinc. haversacks are really getting to me. No free time buy new bag, im definetly gonna get a shoulder bag for sch soon. And gonna dye highlights and pierce ears in the holidays, and hazel's gonna pei me :) Jermaine is probably gonna be rush. Well, bloodsis says that want dye better dye properly, later look ahlianish. x) Any suggestions for highlight colours for me? &Im thinking of getting braces, evn though my teeth are quiet straight. But its still not the perfect teeth i'd like :) But mummy says i dont need braces. I want it perfect, why settle for 2nd best, when you can get THE best.
Bye Yaw'll,
Peace outs.
Lot'ta Love, Jannell.
[edit]
Just some personal thinkings. I think life's really crap. Not that i hate life, i really think the lives we live cannot be what we want. I mean, you either get money, love, or none. You can never get both. Seriously. I mean, life is so imperfect, there will always be problem even if you were the happiest man on earth. Why cant we have a perfect life the way we want it. I cant stand it. i think everything happens for a reason, no such thing as why this why that. Why are there people who become paikia? It's never the friends or companys fault's, its definetly something to do with youre parents. Those really super paikia, they were never close to thier parents were they. And god damn it, i really really think im turning into someone i dont want to be. Family to stranger. What's wrong with the world. Why cant things go my way for once. Hazel says that i should control. Yea i really am trying, but the further im drifting from them, i really find myself changing. I have no idea what. But for really longlong friends, like codie or hani. They'd realise it. There are alot of things in life that are really shit. But, i really dont know. I've been really troubled. I won't go to friends around my age, for a reason. I'd think i'd go find hani or codie tonight. Maybe lihui. Strange, all of a sudden talk about her. Yea, she's really nice. Hope she onlines. started to rain heavily. Rushed to close windows, saw dad. Didnt looks at me, or talk. Stranger like i said. Maybe we should just go with the flo. Turning into paikia turn into paikia lorh. Shit, tempted to smoke. Mutepartner says hard to get un-hooked. Ah, i think i should really treat mummy better, she's been supporting the whole family for years. Even though her attitude's just like dad. And really can make you go hardcore. I should try to let her go mad and smack me, and not give her some bloody attitude even though she's wrong. Ah, really confused. Any LOGICSTIC people wanna spend a whole day with me during the holidays to talk? Yea, have lots of things to say. Nurra maybe? We're going out slack anw. Well, there are many more things best left untold. Cuz a blog's really un-private. Thats all.
[/edit]
One and only,
loose heart.
JANNELL
Bare with me.Archive
Sometimes I reminiscence.